Healing a Heart

As most of you have probably seen, I have not written in a very long time. I made a goal last January to write on a regular basis and was doing well for a while before I started to hit some health issues.

I have a history of heart issues. Issues that I was born with. In 2013 I had a cardiac ablation for what they thought was Supraventricular Tachycardia. What that means is I had an extra muscle in my heart that made it beat fast. Or so they thought…

I started having more palpitations so I went back to the cardiologist. Here is the funny thing, after the ablation, I had more issues with palpitations but each cardiologist I went to see told me it was nothing and that I was fine. So, eventually, I quit going. I started to believe that it was all in my head. After all, they were the experts right?

This past summer, the palpitations began to get worse and chest pain followed. Normally, with SVT you get chest pain but it goes away after a little bit. This was not the case for me. On a daily basis, I was having severe chest pain. I went to my general practitioner and she decided that it wasn’t in my head and I needed to see someone. She referred me to a different cardiologist (one I had never seen before).

The first couple visits were routine. EKGs, ultrasounds, blood work, you name it. The difference was, this cardiologist did not think it was in my head. He knew it wasn’t right and was determined to figure out what was going on. I was put on a halter monitor for 15 days which caught a rapid heart rate but he was not convinced that it was the SVT back. He referred me to a second cardiologist but ordered more tests to check other issues. He was the plumber of the heart and the other cardiologist was the electrician. Together, they wanted to figure out what was happening but I remained positive.

The last test I took was a CT of the heart. A few days later I was back in the doctor’s office for the results. I was expecting him to tell me the usual. Nothing was wrong with the scan and it probably was SVT. As he came into the room, he had trouble gathering his words and at that moment, I knew it was not good. His first words were, “I’m glad we did this test.” and then silence. A look of worry filled his face as he explained to us that I have an extremely rare heart defect where one of the major arteries that sit on top of my heart run between two of the vessels.

He explained that, normally, doctors diagnose this after an individual has died from sudden heart failure. Unfortunately, since they do not know a lot about the heart defect there are only a handful of people in the U.S. who even know how to do the surgery. At first I thought, oh surgery, it will probably be really simple like my cardiac ablation. Unfortunately, it is open heart surgery.

Open heart surgery. The phrase still runs through my mind as a bad dream. How can I be at this point? Just months ago we were talking about having another child and getting excited for that reality. Now that dream feels shattered and fear feels like the only logical feeling to have.

Deep inside I know that I have to trust God’s plan. He is the one who can get us through this but man, sometimes that task seems difficult. I hope I can be a beacon of hope to others struggling as well. I will continue, as much as I can, with posting my journey through this hard time.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Staying Motivated in Tough Times

Being motivated in the middle of a trial can be difficult. Most of the time, when I am in a time of trials, all I want to do is lay in bed and mope around. It is hard to pick ourselves up, keep going, and find the motivation to move forward every day.

As you go through this dark time of your life, shoot to remember five ideas.

  1. Start your morning off right. Instead of getting up and looking at how many troubles you have and slipping into that depressed state, turn your view towards God. Psalms 5:3 states, “In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly”. We should be greeting the day by looking to the Lord and asking Him to guide our steps. There is nothing wrong with asking Him for something your heart desires. At the moment, my desire in my time of darkness is to have a home of our own.


It is easy for me to wake up, look at my current situation and fall back into a depressed state about what I don’t have. Instead, I will wake up and talk to God. Setting my desires and hopes at His feet. Once I do that, I leave it with God. Let Him take care of your future. Don’t let your future sit on your shoulders.


  1. Deal with sufferings by looking at God’s glory. Romans 8:18 says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” God is amazing. If we look at what He has already done for us instead of what He hasn’t reveled to us, we will start the day off wrong. I look back at what God has brought me out of this far and I am amazed. I often forget to see all the glory He has done and look at what is in front of me.


  1. Press on during the times of suffering. Keep going every day. Wake up and make it for the next hour. When that hour is done, make it for another hour. Keep going. I promise things get better. Philippians 3:13-14 says “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Focus your goal on living for Christ. Do everything for Him and His glory. Go serve others in this time of waiting. The more you do to distract yourself, the faster time will fly by.


  1. Let God set your steps. “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24. When we let God work in us He sets our steps. God won’t let us fall in life. Think about it. Throughout this time of suffering, has there been one moment when you have completely crashed and everything is gone? You still have air in your lungs, your heart still beats and that is all because of God. Look at what He has done so far. If He has done that, then He will lead your steps and set a future for you. Have faith in the Lord.


  1. God’s grace is sufficient. At the end of the day God has done a great deal in our lives. He has blessed us beyond compare and in that, we need to remember that God’s grace is sufficient. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9-10. If God’s power is made perfect in weakness, then His glory is being done. What he means by this is that people can see God’s glory in the weakest parts of our lives. If everything was peachy keen and perfect, we wouldn’t need God. Life isn’t perfect and it will never be perfect. However, in our times of trouble, we should strive to let God’s glory be the main thing that sticks out of our trials. Let God get the glory in everything.

I won’t sit here and tell you that the future will be easy. I know from personal experience that it will never be perfect or easy.  I have had times of darkness and times of happiness. Throughout all of my trials, I have struggled and failed to see the positive in my life. I have come to a place of depression and a loss of hope; but in all of my dark trials, God has not left me. He was there through the first trial and He is there for me now. Please hold onto hope and focus on God during your trial.

If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to email me or find someone in your church to talk to. Just know you are not alone.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Important

Every year we make new year’s resolutions. Some of us are successful in completing our new year’s resolutions while some of us are not. There have been years that my new year’s resolutions have fallen through the cracks and others where I have accomplished much, but why are new year’s resolutions important?

I’ve heard the argument that we shouldn’t make new year’s resolutions because we end up failing and, ultimately, become disappointed in ourselves. Some people say we are setting ourselves up for failure because we want to accomplish too much. I believe that new year’s resolutions are important to making us better people.

Making new year’s resolutions pushes us to work towards a better “me” and, even if we don’t accomplish those resolutions, we are still working towards a better future for ourselves. New year’s resolutions also allow us to take a look at our lives to see what needs to change. In taking a look at our lives, we see the negative that affects our lives and we strive for that better part of ourselves. As the new year comes along and you begin to view your lives to set those new year’s resolutions, think about a few goals to set.

First, make on big goal. Make this goal the main goal that you want to reach. In setting this goal, try to think of the following things. Is your goal:

  • Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish?
  • Measurable: How will you know when you’ve reached this goal? What will you be able to do?
  • Action: What will you need to do in order to reach your goal?
  • Realistic: Is this goal reasonable? How do you know?
  • Timely: When will you reach this goal? What is your deadline?

After you have come up with your main goal, think about some smaller goals to set. Make goals for your family, your financials, home, work, health and (most importantly) your spiritual goals.

If the idea of goals scares you, think about it a different way.

  • What habit would you like to make?
  • What habit would you like to break?
  • What skill do you want to master?
  • What books do you want to read?
  • What new place would you like to explore.

Don’t let the idea of new year’s resolutions scare you. There is a lot of good that can come from a new year’s resolution. And if you fail, it is okay. Continue your resolution into 2020. If you think your main goal will take more than one year but there are steps you can take to break down that goal during this coming year, accomplish those steps. Use the new year to build a better “you”. See it as a fresh start.

And to everyone reading, have a blessed 2019!

Living Out Your Values

When it comes to being a Christian, there is nothing more important than living out your values. Values, defined by the dictionary are, “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgement of what is important in life”. Values are the core of who we are. They are what makes us.

It is one thing to say we believe in God and follow the Lord, but if our actions do not reflect our values, the world can see our beliefs as fake or hypocritical. As Christians, it is our job to live like Christ and in doing so, we need to have set values to accomplish that goal. We don’t have to be perfect but we need to try.

Here are some challenges to living out your values.

  • Live out your values even when others do not live the same way. It is easy to fall into the temptations of the world. When others are not living the same way you are and the activities they partake in may look inviting, stay strong. Stick to your values and don’t break away.
  • If the temptations of the world become too hard to resist, turn to God. Ask Him to give you strength. Read your bible or pray during a time of temptation. Turning to God will be the best choice you make.
  • Set those values and base them off God’s word. If you do not already know your values, write them down. If you don’t know where to start, turn to God’s word. Base your values off of what He says and stick with the values. Your values should never change. They should be the core of who you are. Once you have those values in mind, write them down. You can look back at your values you wrote down to remind you of who you want to be and how to live like Christ.
  • Get an accountability partner. An accountability partner should be someone who you share the same values with and someone of the same sex. Find someone at your church to become that accountability partner. Together, keep each other accountable for living out your values. If you are struggling with something and need some extra encouragement, call your accountability partner. Work together to keep your values strong.

Don’t forget, we all mess up but it is never too late to continue to strive towards living out your values and living like Christ.

Life Happens So Trust God

For those who read my articles, you were probably wondering where the heck I have been for two weeks. Has it truly been that long? Well yes, it has been that long and let me tell you, life happened. All last week I was sent to Compliance School by work in order to receive my CUCE (Credit Union Compliance Expert) certification. I drove downtown Denver every day and spent all my time (7am-7pm) studying, learning from instructors and taking exams.

At the moment, I am still not CUCE certified. During the middle of the week, I came down with strep throat. Yay!…. I sat in class that day, feverish, shaking from being sick and my throat was killing me. I tried taking the exam that night three times and every time I attempted the exam, I failed. I went home defeated and frustrated. I was unsure about what life had in store for me.

I look back on that day now and the frustration I had and I shake my head. those thoughts of frustration and fear of the future along with the uncertainty of life has not been new for me lately. I have wondered where God is taking us for some time now. We are living out of my grandparents’ basement and feel a bit stuck. there are days I come home and wonder what on earth God is doing with our lives. When is He going to show us what He wants or where He wants us to be?

I should be turning my eyes to God and letting Him handle the big plans. So why is it so hard for me to do that? I want to be in control of my life and call the shots. I want to prove that I have life all together like I see in the lives of others. I want to stand up and say, yes, I have control of life and have my head on my shoulders.

The truth is, God is the only one who has complete control of our lives. He is the one who can move mountains, part the seas and change our future. At the end of the day, we need to relinquish our desire to control our lives and let God take the reins.

In Jeremiah 29:11, it says “‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'”. I want us to think about this for a second. If God has a plan for our future wouldn’t His plan be greater than ours? I can set a plan for my life and an idea of what it could look like but if God, the Creator of life, has a better plan for our lives, wouldn’t we want His plan and not ours? 

I know it is easier to say we want God’s plan for our lives than it is to wait on His plan. We are a society who likes things now. So during that time of waiting, a time that I am currently in, I want to challenge you to do three things with me.

  1. Stay in God’s word: It is important for us to read His word. Not only do we learn from Him by reading what He has to say, but we can hear direction from the Lord as well. God can use bible verses to speak truth to us and it is a huge way for us to have hope during a time of confusion and loss of direction. I want to challenge us all to a 30 day study. It is a challenge called “God Is On The Move”. Isn’t it true? God is working in our lives and He is building a beautiful future for us. God Is on The Move
  2. Pray about everything: If you are feeling down, confused, unsure about life or just don’t know where to go, call on God. Pray and ask Him to help guide you. He hears all of our prayers and will not abandon us.
  3. Go out and serve: I’ve found that, in my darkest times, serving has been a source of healing. Not only does it help heal but it can distract you from worrying about what the future holds. While God is working in your life, go out and serve someone. By no time, God’s plan will be moving full speed ahead and you will feel like time flew by.

Throughout your journey, right now, know that God has not left your side and never will. Be strong in the Lord and know that everyone is fighting their own battles within their journey. You are not alone in your journey. If you need prayer for anything, don’t forget to send me a message. I am here to pray for you all.

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”