The Struggle of a Working Mom

I’m a working mom. It is no surprise to many of the people who know me. I work the 8-5 job at a Credit Union that is an hour away from home. As a working mom, I struggle. I struggle with the idea that I am not home with my daughter; giving her the education I believe she deserves and the love that I can provide as a mother.

I have a wonderful job and am blessed in the world we live in today to earn the kind of money that I do. I come from a job where I didn’t feel valued and dreaded coming to work every day. I am valued here and rarely have to deal with customer service (a role I quickly got burnt out on growing up). I am a part of a team that can make a difference in the life of others. So yes, I am very blessed to be where I am right now, but it isn’t where I want to be. My dream is to be a stay at home mom, teaching our daughter; writing and drawing in my spare time.

I spent six years at Western State Colorado University studying and earning my degree. There were days I thought I would never graduate and nights I cried myself to sleep because I was so stressed out and now, I am working in a job where I am not utilizing my degree the way I want but maybe that is the key here. It isn’t where “I” want to be. What if God has a bigger plan for my life that I don’t realize?

As Christians, we are called to be disciples of Christ and be used for His glory. When our life becomes about “me” and “I”, we quickly lose sight of that. I am not saying forget about your dreams. God gives us dreams and talents for a reason but how can your dreams and your talents be used for God’s glory? I will always keep asking God to make my dreams happen but they will probably not happen the way I want.

I also need to remember that just because I am not where I want to be in life with my degree and my talents, I shouldn’t shove them aside and never use them. The past few years I have pushed aside my talents and dreams because I have given up. Constant rejection has made me give up and I need to redirect my steps. I need to continue to utilize my talents and practice. I need to be prepared for when God decides to open that door.

What talents and dreams are you pushing aside? Don’t give up on those dreams. I know it sounds cheesy but, seriously, don’t give up on them. Pursue them every day. Pray and ask God to use your talents and dreams for His glory. And if you have a special dream, ask Him for it. Don’t stop asking Him. When we ask for something, He will make it happen when it is for His glory.

Lessons from The Greatest Showman

I love movies. It is a way to escape from life for a little while, a way to be imaginative in someone else’s eyes, and a great past time. However, it isn’t often that a movie hits home so much that I listen to the soundtrack every single day to encourage myself. I have my favorites of course. Like Fried Green Tomatoes and Road to Perdition. Movies that have touched my heart and movies that I feel like I can relate to on some level. The Greatest Showman is one of those movies.

In the Greatest Showman there are many wonderfully written songs. Songs that encourage the viewers and stand as an anthem for many people. But there is one song that makes me cry every time I hear it. Yes, I am a sap. I cry during movies, cry during songs and cry watching the news almost every day so for those who know me, this is probably no big shocker. However, it is the nature of this song that brings me to tears and how it relates to my life right now.

The song is called “A Million Dreams”. The backdrop starts with a little girl and a little boy who like each other but come from two different worlds. She is part of the high-class society while he is poor. The little girl, Charity, sneaks out of her home to see the boy. As they sit by the beach, she talks about how she doesn’t know what her future will hold for her. Like Charity, I am in a point in my life that I don’t know what life holds for me anymore. I don’t know what God’s plan is and I struggle daily to see how we can have a happy future.

Some of the lyrics read:

“Every night I lie in bed
the brightest colors fill my head
a million dreams are keeping me awake
I think of what the world could be
a vision of the one I see
a million dreams is all it’s gonna take
a million dreams for the world we’re gonna make”

The young boy sings about how he sees a future for himself and for Charity and that future is together. Throughout everything that my husband and I have been through the past year, it has been hard to see a future for us. What I mean by that is, it is hard for me to be able to see that we can own a home someday or live in our own home instead of living with family. I have struggled with seeing this future for almost a year. I get discouraged and frustrated because it is not what I want to provide for my family. However, the one person who has kept our dreams alive is my husband.

He has been the one to keep reminding me that we will move someday and have our own home again. He is the one who can see that future even when I cannot. I have been so focused on what I don’t have that I lose sight of my dreams. It is good to dream and good to hope. That is something that you should never give up on.

Trust me, in the dark and hard times, it feels almost impossible to hold on to your dreams. When you have lost everything and can’t see your dreams anymore, let someone else carry those dreams and remind you when you need it. But know this, God made us with dreams and hopes for our future. That is what makes us human. If it was wrong to dream and hope, it would say so in the Bible and guess what, it doesn’t!

Dream until your dreams come true. Ask God for those dreams and aspirations. Let Him write your book but tell Him what you’d like. It doesn’t mean that every dream will come true and your dreams might change but having dreams are important and a gift from God. Cultivate those dreams.